can't sleep

so i am having trouble sleeping. it is about 1:30 am in china now. i have been thinking how the people you know become the people you knew... how fun traditions become fond memories... how people grow and change and leave and forget.
sadness filled my heart tonight when a friend of mine pretty much told me that life with separate us at some point so be ready for it... it makes me want to stop our friendship now... why try to build something now when you know you are going to lose them later because they dont care to try to stay friends? they dont care to work at friendship.
it just bothers me and makes me wonder of other friends from back home want to forget about me... is everyone moving one and moving away? does anyone care to ave deep friendships that are worth fighting for... change hurts so much, but i feel like it is time to let go of certain things... and people who are unwilling to try. Its not like i am around to take walks and talk to and have good one on one time, i am a million miles away and i can't be there to shake people and be there when they want me... and since i can not be want they want me to be any longer i am no longer wanted in their lives... the truth hurts... a bit of my heart was ripped out today, i am not gonna lie. This is harder than i ever imagined.

going to cry myself to sleep.