donald miller

o and here is a link to find more out about donald miller, the author i have been raving about the past month.
http://www.donaldmillerwords.com/index.php
enjoy!

**GOOD STUFF**

i got 2 new CDs last wk:

josh bates (i have already put some of his lyrics in the blog)
http://www.joshbatesmusic.com/joshbates.php

and Casting pearls
http://www.castingpearls.com/


"LOVE'S DONE SOMETHING "
casting pearls

Life was a roller coaster ride, pushin' me up down side to side
I could barely hold on spinnin' out of control
I was lost, lost like a ship in the deep blue sea
Like an angel of light You came to rescue me
You must have found something special in me
Your love's done something to me
Changed my life completely
You're everything, the one and only thing that I need
Everyday I'm walking on sunshine
I am Yours and You're mine
Tonight I feel like I'm on top of the world
As I soar through the starry sky across the galaxy
On the wings of Your love forever carrying me
I've only begun, there's so much more to see
Lock me up throw away the key
I'm a prisoner of love but I never felt so free
You've given me more than I ever dreamed
I've always felt there had to be something more
Worth livin' and dying for, now I know that something is
YouThis is how life was meant to be
Just having You here with me, with You just You together forevermore
Life was a roller coaster ride pushin' me up down side to side
I could barely hold on spinnin' out of control


"YOU ALONE"
casting pearls

I've come to Your throne here so cold and alone
I'm calling on Your name
I lift my hands to the sky open wide and I cry Lord take me away
Take this heavy heart and this weary soul and set them free
Remove myself till there's nothing left but You alone in me
I'm letting go of all that I knowI'm holding on to You alone
I lay it all down down here at Your feet
I want You alone You alone
If I go to the heavens above Lord I know You are there
If I make my bed in the depths lord I know You are there
If I rise on the wings of the dawn or settle on the far side of the sea
Even still Lord I know You will, You will always be there with me

both are AMAZINGLY AWESOME! highly reccomend them both
thos are 2 songs by casting pearls, but u can't get the fulleffect unless u can hear the music... AMAZING!

o and we can't forget my boys in Dust N Ashes... have I ever put their link up here?
http://dustnashes.net/

Anything changed?

Looking back on the goals from september, how am i doing?

1) brush up on my chinese and Italian
*no luck with thisone yet

2) go to massage therapy school
*man did i get smacked over the face today, with this one... still workin on it

3) Get a job
* got a temp one... does that count?

4) get a car
*that won't come into play until i get a full time job

5) go back to China and teach english. (i am willing to substitute another country if i feel led)
*mandy and I are moving to china after she graduates from college

6) take some culinary arts classes
*that will happen after massage therapy school.

7) find a church and get involved.
*still looking, its hard to find one i like

8) get a place of my own.
*hopefully sooner rather than later

9) Read
*i have been reading more, books by donald miller, which i highly recomend

Lord i am still activly waiting, but i need u to guide me to get this all done... i feel a little lost

"Reality is like a fine wine, It will not appeal to children."

Quotes from Donald Millers book, "Seaching FOR GOD knows what"

"I realized the gospel of Jesus, I mean the essence of God's message to mankind, wasn't a bunch of hoops we need to jump through to get saved, and it wasn't a series of ideas we had to agree with either; rather, it was an invitation, an invitation to know God."

"God is a person who is incredibly patient with humanity."

"...we are all guilty of changing Jesus around in order to make Him more like ourselves."

"The very scary thing about religion, to me, is that people actually believe God is who they think He is."

"Truth grew in my mind like a fungus, and though I tried to keep it out, there was no resisting the epiphanies."

"If i weren't a Christian, and I kept seeing Christain leaders on television more concerned with money, fame, and power than with grace, love , and social justice, I wouldn't want to believe in God at all."

"The gospel of Jesus is the most relevant message in the history of mankind."

"What if, because we were constantlytrying to dissect His message, we were missing the blatant invitation? I began to wonder if becoming a Christain did not work more like falling in love than agreeing with a list of true principles."

"...in that their goal when reading scripture was to see Christ in every verse, and not a mirror image of themselves."

...more to come...
if your interested in hearing more... or, you could just read the book

some lyrics from josh bates

I'm less than satisfied
With all I try to be
But He is more than willing
To b strong when I am weak
and so when...

I'm less than I thought I was
Convinced that I don't measure up
And I pretend I'm standing tall
'Til I hear my Father say
Even when I'm feeling small
He loves me, really loves me
And I know He knows best
Even on the days when I feel less
~less, josh bates

from Psalm 24:7-10
I stare at teh cross cause with out it I'm lost and I believe
I'm healed by Your blood, saved by Your love and You shelter me
It's amazing the pwer You hold
I give You my heart and my soul
King of glory
You are holy
Take my hands, take my feet
Take my voice as I sing
Lord of heaven
Hallelujah
Precious Jesus
Halleljah
Imagine the day when our faith is replaced with a glorious sight
Of angels in chorus as You stand before us in perfect light
We will join in the anthem of praise
With every breath e will say
King of glory
You are holy
Take my hands, take my feet
Take my voice as I sing
Lord of heaven
Hallelujah
Precious Jesus
Halleljah
You lived and You died to bring us new life
Sweet salvation
Clothed in majesty, God of everything
King of glory
You are holy
Take my hands, take my feet
Take my voice as I sing
Lord of heaven
Hallelujah
Precious Jesus
Halleljah
~king of glory, josh bates
I wish you could hear this one, reading the words doesn't do it justice.

It's a matter of FAITH, HOPE and LOVE
A matter of trusting the Father above
When the flame is rising higher
Gotta keep walking trough the fire
~walking trought the fire, josh bates

all of his songs are really good (and He pulls them all from scripture), but since i couldn't find the lyrics online i hade to type them all out myself... so if you want more ur gonna have to get the CD "Perfect Day" by Josh Bates... Its better that way anyway bc then u can hear how he sings it and the emotion in the songs... I love it!

obedience

ok, so i don't remember where i heard this but i have been chewing on it for a while and i want to share this with you.

basically, here i s a summary. The fall happened because people were disobedient. When Eve was convinced to take the fruit from the tree she was shown that there was nothing wrong with the fruit. It was 'pleasing to the eye' it could be used for nutrition. The only thing wrong with it was the God said "NO!"

There are plenty of things in life that seem good and useful, but if God says no, then we should respect His wishes. He is the one who knows best, so I trust whatever it is He is saying no to now will be best for me in the future, even if i don't like it now.

What is God saying no to in your life that you are having a hard time letting go and trusting HIm with?

Jars of Clay Concert wit da crew

so i went to a concert last night with a bunch of CRAZY AWESOME people and God really spoke to my heart.

here are some of my notes:
*garbage > transforming
letting God transform our garbage
turn your garbage into something beautiful
-meatal sculpture
-glass mosaic
-gumball murall

my thoughts:
we all have garbage in our lives, we all have junk we carry around. stinky, heavy, unnessisary crap. you can either continue to carry it or you can give it to God. He can take the dirtiest, ugliest deepest garbage and turn it into one of His most beautiful masterpieces. Don't let your past dictate your future. I have seen God at work, I have seen Him change my garbage into His masterpiece to influence His kingdom. And though i have a lot more gaarbage to be transformed, i have faith He will use it, continualy changing it, and me to glorify His kingdom.


*i always said if i ever fell inlove I wouldn't be getting up
well guess what?!?
I'm face down on the ground
and i like it down here

My thoughts:
I am head over heels inlove with Jesus Christ. He is the love of my life. I can never recover from this depth of love I feel. I don't always understand His love me (I can be a huge jerk, an annoying brat, a bad friend, lazy, jealous, and plain mean) But he promise to love me throughh it all. And for that reason, because He loves me no matter what I do, I WANT to serve Him I want to obey him. I lopve HIm too, but i could nerver love Him to the depth He loves me because I am human with selfish, self-centered tendencies. He understands that and lives me anyway. I love the feeling of being love "Just Because" not because i have money (which by the way I don't), or because i am popular (which by the way i'm not) , or because i do things for people, or because otf the way i look or talk or what i do.nHe loves me Just Because and that, my friends, is true agape, God, 1 cor 13 style love.

* I am so truely blessed
I have friends wo encourage me
challenge me and
love me (even when i am unloveable)
Jesus you have blessed me more than I could ever express in words
more than i could ever thank you for
you are amazing
thank you
love, your little girl

My thoughts:
(smile) thank you

*I heard God whisper to me
1st time i realized it was him
in little moments
little phrases, ideas, thoughts
it is quick, but it is Him
so i have to write it down so i don't forget it
i will mull the thought over and figure out why He would tell me that
*It's like God speaks to me in little whispers they don't linger and I am left thinking, pondering He teaches me so much

My thougts:
God speaks in the silences, He can converse with us through our thoughts. When I am reading a book, watching a movie, jammim at a concert or talking with a friend I hear whispers in my head. I have been told I am good at giving advice and telling people how it is. I must confess it was not me, it was the whisper, God speaking through me. I think it is amazing that He, the God of the univers would want to talk to me. Its amazing. He cares about me, my day, my annoyances, my joys, my sorrows, my hardships, my life ... ALL about it. God is SO real its not funny. I love Him so much. Thank You for loveing me, i do not deserve it, but i do enjoy You company.
When i write down the whispers it helps me to think about it later, especially if i am jamming at a concert and can't think much due to the niose, it also helps me to mull it over later in the wk and month. Good food for thought. He teaches me so much through His quiet whispers.

*blood shed brow
He didn't die for nothing!

My thoughts:
Everytime i think of Jesus on the cross, dying for MY sin, becuase I am a disobedient jerk, i can't help getting emotinal. I killed Christ. He died for the so I could be set free. He died for His creation. I want everyone to know Him.
I am not saying everyone needs organized religion... not at all. What I am saying is everyone NEEDS to give Chirst a chance, get to know Him. I know many people have been burned by the church or chirstians before. All I can say is I am sorry. They were not representing Christ or what He stands for. Please give Him a chance. I would love to talk with you about it.

Isaiah 43:1-4

1But now, O Israel, the LORD who created you says: "Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you. I have called you by name; you are mine. 2When you go through deep waters and great trouble, I will be with you. When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown! When you walk through the fire of oppression, you will not be burned up; the flames will not consume you. 3For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior. I gave Egypt, Ethiopia,[a] and Seba as a ransom for your freedom. 4Others died that you might live. I traded their lives for yours because you are precious to me. You are honored, and I love you.

.
.

there you go mandy here is the NLT

my wkend @ alf

this past wkend was awesome... went to clarion for ALF. had some really good talks with many of my friends... i asked questions about satan and got some interesting and varying perspectives. Being able to hang and joke and love on people was so much fun.
church was also an amazing time. PK talked about letting go of guile, pain and hurt. It was an extremely moving sermon. after he was done speaking we were handed papers to write down things we needed to let go of, then the congregation, it seem like all of it, got in a line and took turns nailing them to a big wooden cross in the front of the church. i think we had 3 or 4 hammers. I was sitting in the first pew so i was able to watch as everyone came and nailed their burdens to the cross. It was the most beautiful thing i had seen in the longest time. 8 year olds and 88 year olds standing side by side lifting their burdens to Jesus. the pounding of the hammers on the nails was the most beautiful sound I had heard, the sweet release of all the weight people carried around. watching all those people, it seemed like the entire congregation, leaving their burdens on the cross. it was overwhelingly heart wrentching. I felt so much joy for the kingdom. It was amazing.
then at table talks we talked about reletivism. i love deep topic like this. we talked about ow there is reletivism in christianity and how there shouldn't be. i think we ended up with
relativism = disbelief in truth + belief in lies
if there is not absolute truth, then everything is a lie. my truth, would be your lie. there for everything is a lie.
if Jesus is the truth, and He is, then all opposing 'truths' are actually lies. i know... this is hard to explain in words, i was not an english major. but if you would like to talk about it sometime let me know, I'd love to get together... and for those of you too far away, i'd love to talk on the phone with you.
one other interesting point pk made was about the fruit in the gardenof eden... upon looking at the fruit it was pleasing to the eye and could be used for nurishment. there was nothing wrong with it... it was not rotting or poisoned... the only thing wrong with it was that God said NO! which got me thinking about things in my life that are perfectly fine, possible happening, but if God says NO then I shouldn't want it, or want to do it.
what is God saying NO to in your life... are you willing to be obedient?
I also read my 'blue like jazz' book (coughreaditcough) shortly after church and don was talking about christian relativism... ironic? maybe. it was about a time when he was asked to defend christianity on a radio station and he declined. when the host asked him why, his answer was that he could not defend something that had 10 different meanings to 10 different people. people interpret scriptures differently, some even twist them completely out of context. BUT he would defend Jesus Christ and the true gospel. Interesting...
sometimes i get so sick of being a christian and all the labels that come with it and the judgment and i just want to stop being a christain. however, i have never wanted to stop being a Christ follower. there is a differnce.

if you have never been told that God loves you, let me be the first.
Jesus Christ died for you because He loves you so much, yes i did use present tense on purpose. Jesus rose from the dead and is alive! He wants you to believe in Him so your sould can be saved and spend the rest of eternity in heaven.

John 3:16-21
"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. 17For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him. 18Whoever believes in him is not condemned, but whoever does not believe stands condemned already because he has not believed in the name of God's one and only Son. 19This is the verdict: Light has come into the world, but men loved darkness instead of light because their deeds were evil. 20Everyone who does evil hates the light, and will not come into the light for fear that his deeds will be exposed. 21But whoever lives by the truth comes into the light, so that it may be seen plainly that what he has done has been done through God."

again if you would like to talk about any of the above please let me know, i would love to try to better explain, or listen if you need/want to work somethings out.

well i think thats long enough for now... more later...

how do i get random anonymous people who only want me to check out their websites to stop commenting?

some ideas on: satan

wrestling with the idea of satan

people argue all the time if the believe in God, or not. it seems like they forget that there is an opposing side.
"the greatest trick satan has accomplished is making people believe he doesn't exist."
he wants us to get caught up in meaningless things for meaningless reasons
he wants us to waste our time
he wants us to be self involved

i think one of the biggest faults is letting our guard down, ignoring the fact that he is there and then wondering why thing get so hard. we are not fighting the attacks, not being alert for when he strikes... and you better believe you are his target. we can not forget that satan is lurking around every corner, waiting for us to give him an opening where he can climb into our lives and mess them up, not that i don't do a fair share of maessing up on my own. i am not saying all our sin is satans fault. i am saying it is his desire to see us hurt, to see us struggle so he makes our already difficult lives, due to sin and our own selfish desires, even more difficult by tempting us, whisperingin our ears "you don't need to pray today", "you are ugly, fat, unsuccessful"... he tears people down and tears them apart.

satan is always ready to attack, how come we are not alway ready to fight back?

i am still wrestling with some of these ideas, just had to get this down before i lost it... :o/

blue like jazz by donald miller

this book is amazing... i can't put it down... well i can, but its hard.. i am eating it up, not literally.
if you read it let me know, i'd love to talk with you about it .

ps: donald miller is talking in grove city the 14th.... i am so interested to hear him speak

LOTR remix

this is for Jen, and anyone else who love LOTR

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/hobbits

yes joel, i stole it from ur info... thanks

Who I am Hates who I've been

I have been so grouchy and negative lately and it has been driving me nuts. I hate being negative and I hate it when I am not smiling and making other people smile.
Pastor Bill said something today in church that was like a light bulb going off in my head. He said, "Christians are not happy unless they are serving God." That was it! What was I doing to serve God? not much. I want to get a job and serve Him in my job, I want to get in a church and serve Him in the church. I want to serve, and i have been missing out the past month and a half. I have been waiting, but not actively. I thought i was being active, but not really. I lack know how right now where I am. Its like i hit a wall and am left dazed and confused. I want to dig in with both my hands and love on Him like nothing else.
I had lunch after church with 3 beautiful, intellegent lovely ladies. We talked about a great many things. One of them for quite a while. Relationships. We are all single and it can be a stuggle. One of the girls was feeling rather hopeless in the area of dating. Once you get out into the 'real world' it is hard to find an on fire christian guy as a friend let a lone a life long companion. I know I just graduated, but i had a hard time finding one when i was here before college, that is why i never dated and I have friends who are in their 30s who have yet to get married, even though it is a strong desire they are not willing to settle. They are awesome women of faith.
Another of the girls, the oldest and wisest of the group tried to be encouraging to us. Reinforcing the facts we already know: It is better to be content in singleness than misrable in a relationship that we're stuck in. God loves us. We need first to be content with God before we can ever hope to have a relationship that gloifies HIm. If we do choose to marry someday it has to be the man God chose for us, not a man we choose bc we are afraid to grow old alone.
The 3rd girl broke in a shared how God has been speaking to her on the topic of relationships. God pretty much showed her that He wanted to be the One and only in her life. She would run to other people with her joys, fears, heartaches, etc. and leave Him out completely. How do you thing that makes Him feel. The God that creatted us and longs to be in our lives, an intricate part of our lives. Running to other people was only creating a void between her and Him a void He wants to fill.
Is it true, Is God really ALL you need or are you looking for love in all the wrong places?
I have been struggling a lot the past 2 months with just wanting a friend here with me all the time. Like in college i could just run down the hall or walk 5 min to a friends room and there i could talk and hang out. Yeah i spent my time with God, we had our time together and i know He was hangin out with us too. But I am so people focused I would run to someone and pray with them or just hang with them, bc i knew i was loved. I amnot saying it is bad to be a people person, i will be one my whole life. I love people, i can't help it. and I am not saying it is wrong to hang with people when your feeling out of it or need to talk, the big question is, Is God the one you run to or run from? I never really saw it as running from God when I was running to other people. But the more I look at it... God is either ALL you need or not enough.
I know God has always been ALL I ever needed, but i haven't been treating our relationship in such a way. When your single you have a relationship that is solely focused on God and His will. But once you get married your focus is split between God and your significant other and then if you have children it is divided even more. I am not saying marriage is a bad thing, not by any means. I have the desire to get married and have children (a lot of them) some day. But I am training my self to be content now, until God brings my prince to me. I have been gurading my heart so long, i don't know how to let go. I guess all that will come all with time, if the needs comes. Or maybe i need to hand it over to God so He can protect it. Less work for me andI know its being taken care of...

these are some verses that are encouraging to me:

An unmarried woman is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. 1 Cor. 7:34

Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23

Don't let anyone think less of you because you are young. Be an example to all believers in what you teach, in the way you live, in your love, your faith, and your purity. 1 Timothy 4:12

By the grace of God I am who I am. 1Cor. 15:10

The eldest and wisest of the girls also pointed out that we don't know what the future holds or how long that will even be. We are not guarenteed a next year or a next week or even a tomorrow. I could die or Jesus could come back, who knows? There is no need in worrying about the future because we don't know what it holds... only God knows which is all the more reason to place ALL our faith in Him and live each day as it were our last. Live each day with as much passion for Christ as we can muster. I used to think this way... Thanks for bringing me back.

Your thoughts are higher than mine
Your words are deeper than mine
Your lone is stronger than mine
This is no sacrifice, Here's my life

Have to die each day to ourselfs so we can live more fully for God.

Psalms 25:4-5
Show me your ways, O LORD,
teach me your paths;
guide me in your truth and teach me,
for you are God my Savior,
and my hope is in you all day long.

Psalms 139:23-24
Search me, O God, and know my heart;
test me and know my anxious thoughts.
See if there is any offensive way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting

I long to know You and be lily white for You, continue to draw me closer to You, everyday... every moment.