rebecca says it best...

Forgive Me

~Rebecca St James~

For all the times I’ve failed You, Lord

Forgive me

For all the ways I’ve fallen short

Lord, forgive me now

God, I’m so in need of grace

I fall upon my face

Forgive me

You see the tears fall down my face

Forgive me

Take my fear, Lord, take my shame

Lord, forgive me now

Purify me, make me new

Like only You can do

Forgive me now

Lord, we come to honor You

We are forgiven

We bring our love and thanks to You

We are forgiven now

God we praise You for Your grace

Before You we are raised

Forgiven

God we praise You for Your grace

Before You we are raised

Forgiven

Forgiven

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I Can Trust You

~Rebecca St.James~

Yes, I know that You have paved a path for me

Yes, I know that You see what I do and don’t need

But when it comes to the deepest things

I have a hard time relinquishing control

Letting go

God, it hurts to give You what I must lay down

But when I let go, freedom’s found

God, it hurts to give You what I’ve held so dear

Because of Your love it’s clear

I can trust You with this

I can trust You with me

I can trust You

Lord, I know that You are worthy of my trust

For You have shown me time and time again

You’re faithful and yet

I’m so scared of letting go of this

Afraid of what You might do with it

How could I forget who You are like this

Me forsaking

Heart is breaking

I let go of what I’ve held so tight

Freedom’s mine now

For the taking

I move in faith, not by sight

Let Your will be done

next step / i can see it in your eyes

next step
by me

i'm taking the next step
it scares me to death
you push and u pull me along
i'm scared out of my skin
but i follow
always following you
because you are the one
who has never let me down
you are the only one
who knows where they are going
so willingly i let you
pull and push me along
walking with you is the most
beautiful experience i have ever had
so i am taking my next step
stepping out in faith
where we will wind up
i don't know
all i know
is i have to take this next step
with you

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i can see it in your eyes
by me

i know i am beautiful
in your eyes
i know you see the best in me
you love me
your love surrounds me
your love sets me free
i let go of all my worries
i let go of my baggages
my bruises and brokeness
i am all yours
may i never doubt your love
it is the only place i am safe
knowing you are with me
nothing can take you away
and better yet
you'd never leave
because you love me!
higher than the heavens
and deeper than the deepest waters
out to eternity and back again
i am truely blessed to know such a love
as this
YOU LOVE ME!
i see it in your eyes
and that makes me smile

empty

i need you
my heart is broken
i feel like someone stole my soul
i feel hollow inside
a mere shell
of what i used to be
i am alone in my thinking
in my being
Lord, i need you more than ever
hold me as i shake and shiver
and brake before You
listen to each tear that falls
each sob
feel each quiver

so much negativity
all around me
i hate it
it reaches into my pores
and pulls out the worst in me

i can never do anything right
how can anyone love someone like me
i screw everything up
i can't do anything right

i disgust myself
how do i get free
i feel bound
tied down
held back
i can barely move
i need You
I need You to free me
from this pain
from my sin

i am nothing
i am wretched
i am evil
i am broken before You
Praising Your name
I love You
I do not deserve You
but i do need You

I try to do what is right
but i feel hands pulling me down
holding me on the ground
not letting me up
i can't fight them any more
i can't fight alone

Lord I praise You
for I know You are King
i know You have saved me
I know You love me
this undeserving mass
i know you will help me
Lord, please i beg You
Please

Lord, I need You more than ever
I am broken before You tonight
the pieces that are left of me
are scattered on the floor
this wretched soul is only one
a Father can love
no one else

SURPRISE!

so i got the most wonderful surprise tonight. this wk has been insanly crazy, it has been hard to think straight. i was meeting up with seth to go see narnia. 6:56pm seth calls and asks where i am and i feel bad telling him i am running late, he said "we" were going to get something to eat.. as in him and his friends. I thought cool i get to meet knew people, i love new friends... i get there after 10-15 min and i walk up to the theater and i see none other than Niki mort inside... i almost fell over myself. I was so excited! it never crassed my mind she might be the friend bc she is supposed to be in clarion... i also got bonus, nikis fiance greg. 3 AMAzing friends in one night! unbelieveable. i barely knew what to do with myself. to top it off as i was driving home i was listening to my voice mail and got an amazingly sweet mess from my favorite toe hugger ever! mandy i love you girl! what an awesome ending to an insanly hectic wk.
Lord, Thank you for blessing me with such awesome friends.

PS - GO SEE NARNIA! it is an awesome movie.

love don't come easy

This is for all my girls who think they HAVE TO find prince charming or they'll "just die!" Give it time, trust in God and someday He will bring you ur prince charming... and he will be more amazing than you may be able to imagine. Do not let go of your standards to be with mr. right now, wait for your soul mate... i have been waiting 23 years... and no prospects yet. Although some of my friends think it impossible for me to remain single forever, i find it easier to believe everyday.

for my girls... and my guys too...

You Can't Hurry Love
by The Supremes

I need love, love
To ease my mind
I need to find, find someone to call mine
But mama said

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
You got to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

But how many heartaches
Must I stand before I find a love
To let me live again
Right now the only thing
That keeps me hangin' on
When I feel my strength, yeah
It's almost gone
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

How long must I wait
How much more can I take
Before loneliness will cause my heart
Heart to break?

No I can't bear to live my life alone
I grow impatient for a love to call my own
But when I feel that I, I can't go on
These precious words keeps me hangin' on
I remember mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes

No, love, love, don't come easy
But I keep on waiting
Anticipating for that soft voice
To talk to me at night
For some tender arms
To hold me tight
I keep waiting
I keep on waiting
But it ain't easy
It ain't easy
But mama said:

You can't hurry love
No, you just have to wait
She said to trust, give it time
No matter how long it takes
You can't hurry love

No, you just have to wait
She said love don't come easy
It's a game of give and take

friendship no longer debated

something a friend of mine said to me this past wkend has been dancing in my head. we debate quite frequently our friendship. I absolutly love this person and i know he love me, but he does not understand why i consider him a friend. he tends to have poor self esteem.
this is what i have to say to all his doubts: a friend is more than doing... a friend is also and mostly being. someone who is there for you, someone who will talk to you when you need it, for 6 min or 6 hrs. or just be there with you w/o saying a word, just showing their support. someone who you enjoy spending time with and who enjoys spending time with you. friends don't have to do anything, they just have to be. be there for eachother, be supportive of one another, be able to love and be loved... etc.
although a result of being a friend most of the time is that you want to do things for those you love and cherish, it is not the reason you are friends in the first place.
Please know I love you, I love all my friends.

This baby would one day save me

"I Celebrate The Day"

by Relient K

And with this Christmas wish is missed

The point I could convey

If only I could find the words to say to let You know how much You've touched my life

Because here is where You're finding me, in the exact same place as New Year's eve

And from a lack of my persistency

We're less than half as close as I want to be

And the first time

That You opened Your eyes did You realize that You would be my Savior

And the first breath that left Your lips

Did You know that it would change this world forever

And so this Christmas I'll compare the things I felt in prior years

To what this midnight made so clear

That You have come to meet me here

To look back and think that

This baby would one day save me

In the hope that what You did

That you were born so I might live

To look back and think that

This baby would one day save me

And I, I celebrate the day

That You were born to die

So I could one day pray for You to save my life

who me ... a princess...?

i was talking to my friend Gina a few nights ago, I love that girl! we talked about a great many things, but one thing i stuggle with, and will continue to struggle with is, well... she said i am a princess. I have heard that before and it sounds nice, all girls are pincesses and deserve to be treated as such. Well, i have a rough time with this... i don't like to be waited on and buy stuff to make myself feel good. that stuff is what frusterates me later. so i ask you (those of you who read my blog, if anyone does) what does it mean to be a princess? is it enoying being waited one hand and foot, buying whatever u want, haveing people adore u? or is there something more something different?

What does it mean to be Gods princess? what does that look like?