stories...

we are supposed to journal for fuel, but i am not quite sure what about. there are so many sories i could tell... my life is a dramatic mess.

today a lady came up to me in wal*mart and handed me a track 'how to be saved' she mumbled some things about God returning soon and walked away. Does that type of ministery really work? the lady seemed nice, but i don't know who she is or what she wanted, really. that doesn't really show Gods love... how are people going to kow Gods love unless you show them?

A few months ago at work i was sitting talking to a good friend of mine on the phone and when i got off i noticed there was an old woman wondering around the building. she was lost and confused and asked me if i knew where there was a pay phone. I told her she could use my cell phone, no problem. She did so to call her daughter and tried to pay me for the call! I informed her i did not want her money, i was just glad i could help. she smiled, thanked me and was on her way. a few coleguges of mine saw us and later asked me if i knew the woman. I said no. they were astonished i had let a stranger use my cell phone. ?!?! since when did helping strangers become a novelty? i did not see anything threatning in that little confused old woman. it makes me sad that people don't want to help other people just bc they are strangers.
i don't know, maybe i am just off the wall.

so people keep asking me about my 'love life' or lack there of in my case. people don't seem to understand there is a process to this. first there has to be a guy who is interested in me and wants to pursue a relationship... first step not yet achieved. There has yet to be a guy interested in me, let alone interested in me enought to say 'hey i like you, would you accompany me to dinner?' so until we reach step one i don't want to be asked anymore about my lack of a 'love life'. I have too many other things to focus on right now anyway and do not have time for a boyfriend! i struggle with wanting one at all. I have never had one so i really do not know what i am missing. When God is ready for me to have one He will bring him to me. so enough of the drama, please.

I am still struggling with feeling i belong where i'm at. i want everyone to feel like they belong, if they don't i don't... at least that seems how it is now. sometimes i feel great and this is where i am supposed to be, other times i am so out of the loop i don't care to try to find my way back in. I just want to do what God wants me to do. and i really feel massage thereapy is it right now. but i don't know how he is going to use that in the future. Then again there are alot of uncertainties about my future.

i am done rambling for now... tired and have things to do...

jer 29:11

O and read judges 13-16 and tell me what you think...