learning to trust - thanks joelie

i am thinking my problem is that I have too much time on my hands. I am not being challenged so my mind wanders. my job is so boring, and easy that i find myself day dreaming a lot. sometimes while i am day dreaming i pick up some of satans lies and toss them around with out really knowing what i am doing.

Idles minds... what is it they say about idle minds?

anyway joelie and I had a bit of a disagreement last night about my intellegence level... I do not give myself much credit, mainly because i do not think i deserve it. I told him i was dumb and he came back saying i was no dumber than him... Which i disagree with because joelie is VERY intelligent. I think Joelie is one of the most brilliant people i know.
when i first met him we were in bible study together, back in those days (last year), he was very quiet. he never said anything unless it had meaning to what we were discussing... he was very intimadating back then...

all i know is i really look up to and respect joel a lot... he is one of my very best of friends. and i trust him completely, so i should trust that when he tells me i am smart its true. well, i believe he thinks i am smart... its a step in the right direction... isn't it?

I feel lost
trying to hold on
hold on to the few things
i know are certain
so much chaos
everything seems unstable
stop the merry-go-round
i want to get off

i heard this song on the radio coming home from work and it made me smile.

Beautiful
by Christina Aguilera

Don't look at me

Every day is so wonderful
And suddenly, i saw debris
Now and then, I get insecure
From all the pain, I'm so ashamed

I am beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring me down
I am beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring me down
So don't you bring me down today

To all your friends, you're delirious
So consumed in all your doom
Trying hard to fill the emptiness
The piece is gone left the puzzle undone
That's the way it is

You are beautiful no matter what they say
Words can't bring you down
You are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring you down
Don't you bring me down today...

No matter what we do (no matter what we do)
No matter what they say (no matter what they say)
When the sun is shining through
Then the clouds won't stay

And everywhere we go (everywhere we go)
The sun won't always shine (sun won't always shine)
But tomorrow will find a way
All the other times

'cause we are beautiful no matter what they say
Yes, words won't bring us down, oh no
We are beautiful in every single way
Yes, words can't bring us down
Don't you bring me down today

Don't you bring me down today Don't you bring me down today