4 small questions (but really 5)

What do you believe?

Why do you believe it?
(are you able to defend your beliefs if they are challenged or do you not care?)

What is it you are seeking in life?

Why do you seek after it?

CHECK IT OUT:

www.brokenwalls.com

Amazing native american group serving Our Lord ni their unique, refreshing and beautiful style.

i am still checkin out a bit... i will prob update this entry in time... while i am doing taht check out their site!

Answer according to who you are, not who you would like to be or think you out to be.

this is one of the instructions on a - spiritual gifts assesment - i was taking. but i stopped for a moment and thought about that request. It is not always easy in todays world to distinguish between who you are and who you want to be. Reality and fantacy are so often intertwined that it is sometimes hard to know one from the other.
i know who i think i am, the person i see in the mirror everyday, but i bet if you ask my friends they would be able to give you a slightly different version of who the think i am and what they think i am good at and not so good at. I think the most accurate way to score the test may be to take it yourself adn have a close frined also take it for you then combine the 2 scores. A good friend may see something in you that you do not see in yourself. I know a good friend who enjoys pointing things out about me that i do not notice about myself (good and bad). that is helpful to me, and also interesting to see how others view me.

anyway, i have to get going... i am on my way out.
luv you!

coffee and ice cream

i saw aly last night. we met for coffee. It was refreshing talking to her. we told our summer stories, although i didn't have much of one to tell, and talked a bit about the upcoming year.
Niki and greg met up with us, i love those two. we met down at the waterfront and hung out and talked and niki took us to the creamery where she and I had icecream.
it was nice.
its nice to know that even if you lose contact with some people, as aly and i had, you can sit down with them and talk and laugh like you were never apart. That is real family. I missed he a lot.
i just wish people didn't live so far away. i would like to take all my faortie people and put them all in a apt building, kind of like dorms... only more sophistcated.
bring jen in from CA and brandon down from corry and vivian from tibet and julie from ohio... i don't think they would all like that.
but i guess absence makes the heart grow fonder. i do enjoyy every second i get with them when we do get together.

i am just really happy i was able to see aly before she left town again. she was only home for 3 days this summer!

AH!

the apathetic neutrality of this world
and christian hypocrisy
makes me want to scream
how does one balance this anger with Gods love a joy?

loving you is easy 'cuz your beautiful

I love you with a love that is greater than most.
i love the way you think
i love the way you smile
i love the way you challenge me
and build me up
i love you
i love you more that i know how sometimes
i love the way you view the world
i love the way you humble yourself
and keep me humble as well
i love the way you push the limits
i love the way you walk
i love you
i love you so much it hurts
i love you intelligence
i love listening to you talk
i love your laugh
i love your hugs
i love the way you love me
the way you take care of me
the way you are helping me to become a better woman,
a better person
i love the way you show you are human
you are sinful and broken and confused at times
i love the way you see that in me too
i love the way you long and yearn for Christ
i love the way you search for Him

chase after Him

i love the way you continuously point to Christ
and give Him all the glory

you a beautiful to me

one of the most beautiful people i have ever known in my life

not bc you are physically attractive

not because you are funny

not because you smart

or athletic

not because you see me

but bc your soul speaks to me,

you actions speak to me

they tell me and show me

you love God

how you continuously are trying to become more like Christ

and by that encourage me

to do the same

i love you because you are you and i am me

i love you

just because i do

*SMILE*

there are many many things i do not know or understand in this world. how do we get through it without going insane. everything moves so fast, there is not enough time to think and process all the information that is thrown at us. people are measured by the amount of 'stuff' on their schedules. if you have a lot of stuff you must be an important part of society. if you don't do a lot of 'stuff' u must be lazy and a drain. i have to say this is very wrong thinking. it is better to do few things and do them well, take your time and put your heart in to them. people need time to breathe, to smell the roses to enjoy life.

so many things have been clouding my mind lately. Question about me, who am I and what is it i believe? really, specificly...

Who is Jesus Christ? was he a good man? yes. was he a teacher? yes. Is he the messiah? I believe He is...
"Everything good I know, everything decent i know, everything pure i know, i learned from Jesus. He castigated paople. He was angry. People don't think of him that way,but they don't read the bible. He had a righteous anger. He cared for the oppressedand exploited. there's no question that he had the highest moral standard, the least duplicity, the greatest compassion, of any human being in history. There have been many wonderful people, but Jesus is Jesus."
~Templeton, agnostic

I do not understand how this man could see Jesus and all the good he does, believe that He speaks the truth, but deny the most important truth that Jesus speaks. He is God. I don't understand how people can see God, know him and turn away from Him. so many truths ring through my ears that are undenyable to me.

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day and she was bringing up random questions such as 'if alien life was found would that disprove God?' i asked how that would disprove God and she said 'Because it is not mentioned in the bible' ... that seems totally off the wall to me. Personally the only alioen life i believe in is Christ follers on earth, we do not belong here, this is not our home. Heaven is our home, and we will always feel out of place here. as far as creatures from other planets i don't think they exist. but i also do not think it is a relevant concern. I think it is one of those things people over think. they are looking of a reason to not believe.

Templeton once stated that the having faith in Christ was too easy. He felt there needed to be some difficult aspects to it. In a sense it is easy, all you have to do is believe that Christ had a purpose and that was to live perfectly so He could die for our sins. He died for us so we could be free.

Now some people would laugh at that and say 'whatever, you 'christains' are slaves to your religion.' and if you look at it that way, everyone is a slave to something. A slave to sin, imorality, greed... i would rather be a slave to love and goodness and be set free from sin and the destruction it causes.

God is amazing, God is love God is everything i will ever need.

......it is interesting where the mind takes you if you let it lead for a while.

there is a difference between people who can't hear and people who don't hear...

"the Christian novelist [or writer] is distinguished from his pagan colleages by recognizing sin as sin. According to his heritage he sees it not as sickness or an accident of environment, but as a responsible choice of offense against God which involves his eternal future. Either one is serious about salvation or one is not...." ~Flannery O'Connor

The parables that Jesus told were not to comfort listeners, but to confront them with their own sin. ~bret lott

adventurous wkend

this has been a crazy wk... as is the pattern of my life lately.
we talked about racial issues in america at fuel. it was a very enlightening conversation. i got a move a few days ago called 'the second chance' that deals with those issues in the church. it is an amazing video. the past few wks i left fuel pondering the topics we discussed. chewing on the ideas that were tossed around. do people really care? do they really think about things like this? and if so why is nothing done to help the situations?

anyway, i babysat with jess friday night, but i don't think my presence was needed. we hung out anyway. it was fun, but i thik i drove her nuts. poor girl has to put up with me.

saturday we went splunking!!!! it was amazing! i held the group up at the end of the climb back due to my lungs and being dizzy. BUt it was so amazing. That was a huge accomplishment for me. Last summer I climbed a mountatin in china (not sure the hieght, North Mountain...look it up) and this year i went cave diving 46 stories down! so much fun, but i was still sore 3 days later. it was a good sore, working out sore... i love doing things like that bc it pushes me to lengths i would otherwise not be pushed to. for example when i go to the gym i can leave as soon as start feeling tired or sick. but when you are stuck at the bottom of a cave the only way to get out is break something (i.e. a leg, arm, etc) or climb out yourself and i was determined to do it. I want to take tie to thank mike, steve and jason for waiting behind with me. I appreciate that more than you may ever know. Thank you so much for the support guys!
when we got out of the cave and got changed, we headed to potters, a local place. i got teased for the weird food combination i ordered... fried mushrooms, milded wings and grilled cheese sandwich. we also go ice cream on teh way home and played loaded questions and mad gab in the van to and from uniontown.

i met up with amber niki and greg after that and we went out to eat with kristen and jon somewhere in shadyside. then we came back and played games @ niki and gregs apt. i ended up sleeping over @ their place. we went to jareds church in the morning. he wasn't there so amber and i went to visit him after church and i beat him and amber in pool! then amber and i traveled to A.dannetes house, but got lost and ended up at my Auntie and uncs house so we stopped in to visit. auntie made us lunch and we talked for a bit. then we traveled to a.ds house. where i found out lizzy is in the hospital (please be praying for her). we hung out there for a bit, then i took amber home and went home and to sleep. it was a nice wkend, and i am back to random happenings in the evenings. i am off work tomorrow though! excited, but not sure what i am going do yet. '

i have to work sat, this will be my first sat to work, i am interested to see how it goes. other than that inot much is planned. the next BIG thing is the canoe trip at the end of the month.

alright, i am done with yet another ramble ... hope you all have a wonderful day!

Why do you build me up (build me up) Buttercup, just to let me down...?

i feel like a horrible person, nothing i say or do is right. nothing that comes from me will ever be good enough for you. i have come to terms with that. so i run from you. i do not wish to hinder ur life anymore than i obviously have already. i try my best to serve and love the best i know how, but with you i always fall short. I don't understand where i started going wrong. i don't understand why you insist on being in my face. please, just let me go, let me leave so your life can improve.

More School...

yesterday i mailed in my paper work for school. it was such a good feeling to drop that envelope in the mailbox. Now i get to sit around anxiously waiting for my acceptance letter. I am so excited i could burst! October 7th is my first day of class! *big smile*

an update on life:
last wkend was nice, i went to a condo in the middle of nowhere with the fam. it was a very relaxing wkend. I did nothing all wkend, it was nice.
I am SUPER excited about this coming wkend, going splunking! i am still looking for shoes to wear... i may end up just getting the ones i saw at wal*mart. i know i should try to get better ones, but not many stores are carrying hiking shoe right now. we shall see. i did see some at Dicks but there was one guy in the shoe section and i got tired of waiting for him. I got a head light that i am super excited about using.
i finally got my insurance trough work starting yesterday. thats exciting, now i just have to wait for my new insurance card. I need new glasses and contacts. i feel like i am i am becoming more of a grown up.
did i mention at all the i am ona fantacy football team? yes i know, i never thought i would be on one either, but i am and i think it will be fun. i am not much of a football person, so i am not sure how well i will do. we shall see... we don't pick out teems till aug 28th... we have a while. thats good bc that will give me time to figure out what i am doing.
my stomache has be bothering me a lot lately, and i have had a headache for the past 36 hours. i don't know what is wrong with me...

random observation:
i have found that if i drink coffee (or other caffinated beverages) i am a more pleasent person... not nessasarily more awake, but generally a happier person... weird, hu?
i have not been drinking alot of caffinated beverages the past few months bc i am afraid i will become addicted to them, but i think i will start to drink more caffine due to this new and interesing fact. i started drinking this stuff called spark, natural caffiene in fruity flavors. its pretty good stuff, i am trying to stay away from the caffinated drinks that are loaded down with sugar.

i think stating next wk i am going to try that diet that my aunt was trying to get me do.... i don't have time to go grocery shopping til then... plus i have to get the diet plan from her, i don't remember what i am supposed to eat on it. she lost a lot of wieght on it, so i am gonna try it out. i am frustereated with myself. i am large and i can not seem to lose wieght no matter what i do. when i go on diets i usually end up gaining wieght... hopefully this one wil work for me. i guess we shall see.

... the end