fear

i remain distant because i am afraid

afraid of loving you

afraid of you not loving me back

its easier this way

i don't know how to free myself

from this dictation of fear

only you can free me

but will you try?

i don't want you to get hurt

but i know i am sure to hurt you

because i am terrified

of what is to come

keeping my distance

is the easiest thing i know how to do

i feel trapped inside this body

inside this relm of thought

i find it difficult to break free

sometimes i try

then i think of you

do you know what i am going through?

would you care?

i have locked my self in a dark room

and lost the key

is there anyone who can help me?

will i ever get out?

i want to love again

but i feel like i will never be allowed

to love freely

my heart breaks

at the thought of losing you forever

it aches more to know

you were never mne to lose

how are we to get along in this world

when we are pursued by darkness

it follows me wherever i go

seeping into my mind

into my heart

my will fights against it

a battle goes on in my soul

i tire of it

i long to be with you

but is there reason to continue fighting?

is there reason to live

knowing i may never

see your face again?

knowing you may never know

the loss i feel for you

my heart breaks

torn in parts

i love you more than you may never know

i'm letting go

my life is not meant to be a life

in love

a life with me at your side

my life will have love

but a very different kind of love

a love that will allow me to be with many

to serve and build and dream

for many

but not with you

you have another life to lead

letting you go is the hardest thing

i have yet ever had to do

the hardest part though

is that you havn't a clue

good-bye sweet love

i'd give you my heart

but it already belongs to another

my heart both aches and fills with joy

knowing you are following your dreams

that you will be happy

that you will not know

the pain that i bare

although i try hard not to allow myself

you must know

i love you with all of my being

i can not take it any longer

i must say good-bye

for fear will not allow it to be

any other way