Got me thinkin

God is so good to me. We spent 2 day on the road together. It was fun. I was all over western PA yesterday. Today I was in clarion mostly. It was kind of sad to be there with no one there and the facts hitting me hard 'I graduated' I feel a connection with that place, is that weird? no one was there, but it still felt like home to me. Yes weird that no one was there, but still. I don't know...

I was thinking a few wks ago about some of my friends. Individual people. I was thinking of how we all have struggles very unique to who we are. It breaks my heart when I hear one of them say they are worthless. It is when you are at your lowest that Christ can come in and use you to His fullest. Some of my friends break my heart because they do not think they are loveable. It makes my stomache hurt, because I love them. They are very special to me, each and every last one of them. Someone told me a few days ago that He is FINALLY learning to accept love... I can not tell you how happy I was for that him. He is one of my closest and dearest friends and I love him so much. And He knows and accepts it and that is the greatest gift he could have ever given me. He may never know how much that means to me. Each one of my friends has brought beauty into my life, each one has taught me something crucial about myself, God, life and/or love. None of them could be exchanged or erased. They each make their own mark on others whether its long or short term relationship, deep or surface relationship.

At the first base ball game I went to tis summer I looked out over the crowd of a packed stadium and I thought 'Its no wonder people can feel insignificant in numbers like these with no guidance or direction. Everyone fending for themselves.'

Everyone wants to live in their own house and not be bothered by neighbors. They can do what they want behind closed doors and not be convicted because no one knows, no one sees. It is amazing how many people do not know thier neighbors.

I think thats why i liked college so much, everyone was right there. I could talk to people when I was stuggling, encourage and build up my friends when needed, hold eachother accountable, challenge eachother to grow and deepen our walks with our Lord.

I'll never have that again. It's sad, i offer to you who are still in school, soak it up, every minute. Enjoy the time you have while you have it because it goes fast.

Wow its late, very... g'night.

God is so good.