this has been the first time since arriving that i have been angry, true anger. I can take a lot. If some thing upsets me i can usually let it roll. I am chill about most things, but when someone i trust blatantly and forcefully lies to me, that's when i have trouble controlling my anger. I cried on my way to school today, and in the office. I was so upset, that i could be lied to so strongly by someone i felt was so close. I don't want to be angry, it don't like it.
Chuck gave me good advice. I can choose to shut the person out, i can choose to be angry with them, OR i can forgive them, EVEN if they choose to continue lying to me. I think this will be hard for me. But my trust level has plummeted. My instincts are to have my guard up from now on.
Is there anybody out there who won't hurt me? Is there anyone out there who is good at communication? Who can talk things through when things get bad? i have a hard time finding it here. I am yarping for peace and love towards those i am angry at right now.
I think i have had too much community time, i need to get away by myself for a bit. I need me time.
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